So Far
by Zanie
Summary: Alt.Univ. Trinity,A teenage girl enters the Spiran highschool. She is calm and collected, but quickley finds her way of life changed by a chain of questionable events.


_Long ago  
Just like the hearse you died to get in again  
We are so far from you_

Thunder rumbled in the distance as she watched the coffin being lowered into the wet earth, the sheen of the mahogany standing out vividly against the grey atmosphere. Nothing would ever be the same for her... nothing would make her feel again. She stood, silent and cold, refusing to shed the tears that threatened her throughout the proceedings, but failed. One single tear ran down her face as the dirt was lowered onto the coffin.

_Burning on just like a match you strike to incinerate  
The lives of everyone you knew  
And what's the worst to take, from every heart you break (heart you break)  
And like a blade you stain  
Well I've been holding on tonight_

Friends and companions began to move away as the ceremony came to an end... desperate to take shelter from the pounding turn the weather had taken. She stayed, staring at the void in the ground where the one person she ever cared about now lay. After a moment passed and the other on lookers dispersed she slowly made her way to the polished marble slab that marked the deceased's presence. As she knelt lightning cracked to the left of her, and she quickly grimaced at the loud boom of thunder that followed a second later.

_  
What's the worst that I could say?  
Things are better if I stay  
So long and goodnight  
So long not goodnight _

The rain began to pound even harder.. Obscuring her vision. Flipping her hood up on to her head she wiped the rain drops and tears from her eyes in order to make out the writing on the marble.

**Sentri Akuda **

**1988 - 2004**

**No matter where she is she will always be with you**

**A true friend**

**A loving daughter**

**She will be missed but never forgotten**

****

A new wave of emotion swept over her as she read the words that were engraved on the epitaph. All her life she had dealt with the fact that someday everyone she had ever loved would leave her stranded, it was a way of life for her up until two years ago, but by then she had hardened herself emotionally to be able to deal with the inevitable hurt. This, however, she wasn't expecting. Nothing in the world would have prepared her for the loss of the one person, who had been there through everything.

_Came a time  
When every star fall brought you to tears again  
We are the very hurt you sold _

Footsteps were heard coming from behind her, pulling her out of her memories as the faint sense of danger washed over her. Usually she would face the intruder head on, but now nothing seemed to matter.

" What do you want?" She growled.

There was no answer until the footsteps came to a halt beside her. Finally, a voice made itself known over the deafening howl of the wind... A male voice.

"You're not the only one hurting... We all are."

_And what's the worst you take, from every heart you break  
And like a blade you stain  
Well I've been holding on tonight _

As she recognized who it was, she lowered her head to stare at the soaking grass. She didn't need this...not now. The footsteps shuffled a few paces and the youth stood beside her.

"We'll all get through this... please Trinity..."

She flinched as she heard her name spoken, like it had some wound attached to it that wouldn't go away.

"Don't call me that..."

As the rain began to ease off she pulled down her hood to reveal her short silver hair, which was now plastered to her head in a messy fashion. Blinking a few times she rid herself of any evidence that would prove she had been crying and stood up, slowly regaining the dignity she misplaced when she let the first tear drop.

_What's the worst that I could say?  
Things are better if I stay  
So long and goodnight So long not goodnight _

Sighing heavily she turned to face the youth. Despite the growing darkness she could see the sorrow in his eyes, burrowing deep inside him through the stormy blue orbs. Just the sight of him made her want to break down... to completely forget what she now knew, and weep. Her emotions pulled her this way and that, creating an almost unbearable knot in her stomach.

"If I could even _fathom _what was going to happen to her... I would give my life to save hers in less than a moment. _You, _Tristan, could do _nothing_ to ease this pain and the knowledge that you will never see someone you so care about , ever, again."

_Well if you carry on this way  
Things are better if I stay  
So long and goodnight  
So long not goodnight _

She stared at him for a moment longer before turning away and walking off, leaving him there to contemplate what was going on. Unfortunately her dramatic exit was delayed.

By the time she had reached the entrance to the Cemetary she felt a hand come down on her shoulder. She stopped but did not turn, only waited for what was to come.

"Please Trin - er, Paine...or whatever you wish to be called by these days - I just want to help you. I know all to well the hurt that you are going through right now. No one will ever be able to come close to taking the place Sentri held in your heart, but you can't go on forever blaming yourself for what happened... It's not right. I cannot let you go down the same self destructive path, do you understa--- ? "

_Can you hear me? _

He had gone too far. She whipped around, despite the hand that was clamped upon her shoulder.

_Are you near me?  
_

She clenched her fist as tight as she could and brought it hard across Tristan's face, leaving him speechless.

_can we pretend,_

"I don't want nor require your help Tristan, now leave me alone or I swear to whatever gods that exist: You will regret it.

_to leave and then_

Tristan quickly let go of her shoulder and stumbled back, wiping the small spatter of blood away from his lip.

"Fine"

_we'll meet again,  
When both our cars collide_

He stalked away in a rage, leaving Paine standing alone in the gathering darkness. She stood there for what seemed to be hours, letting memories and regrets fill her mind at a rate that made every one of them seem like a blur. One stood out, however, and replayed itself in her mind's eye over and over again. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the scene that had given her nightmares prior to now.

She had lost two people that day... two people that had, in a way, changed the course of her life. The ones who should be here with her, were not. The tears welled up behind her eyes once again causing them to ache.

_What's the worst that I could say?  
Things are better if I stay _

Her breathing increased, fueled by the overwhelming sense of loss that came upon her, as she remembered. The barriers she assembled around her heart completely collapsed until there was nothing but emotion that had been held back for much to long.

She crumpled, falling to her knees as she was engulfed by sobs. She leaned over and curled herself into a ball, clinging to the grass like it was the only thing allowing her to retain her sanity.

"No..."

When she finally got the nerve to open her eyes... the darkness of night surrounded her.

_So long not goodnight..._


End file.
